Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have

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(801): View more from Utah

I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high

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(810): View more from Michigan

I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.

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(217): View more from Illinois

i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good

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(312): View more from Illinois

He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.

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(406): View more from Montana

Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king

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(248): View more from Michigan

I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.

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(713): View more from Texas

Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.

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