That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I skipped work to stalk him.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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