Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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