I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize