She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
