3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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