I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm too high and old for this...
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