I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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