I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
