you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
