After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
