Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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