she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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