So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just had sex bonerless
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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