if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
