wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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