If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
