i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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