I'm so fucking centered right now
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
