Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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