Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
