If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
How does it feel to date your dad?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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