help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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