i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
