she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
