ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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