Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
