I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
