This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
