it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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