they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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