Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
