I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
