i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
