you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
