i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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