have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize