I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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