What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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