haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
did i just pee glitter
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
