you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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