I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
