BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
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Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
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They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize