I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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