So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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