I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
