Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
