her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
