Christians are straight up FREAKS
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
