i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
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