Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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