Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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