I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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