my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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