im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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