Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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