Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
