So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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