halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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