I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
