I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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