My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
