I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
